


lost and found

by chorima



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Exchange students, M/M, Pining, Strangers to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-18
Updated: 2019-07-18
Packaged: 2020-06-28 02:25:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19802785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chorima/pseuds/chorima
Summary: After all those years of moving around the globe, Jaemin thought that if home is where the heart is, then he was lost. But meeting Jeno teaches him that home isn’t always a place, and helps him to get found.





	lost and found

**Author's Note:**

> [(๑♡3♡๑)](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/1e/fc/5c/1efc5c47aaff83c1d00a680bc1f44969.jpg) \+ [♥(ˆ⌣ˆԅ)](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/9d/35/7a/9d357a39bb473f116daba1c4d16d90b5.jpg)

Jaemin has never been one to become attached to places, really.

Due to his father’s job, his family has been moving around ever since he was born: he spent most of his early childhood travelling around the south of the Korean Peninsula, moving from one city to another, changing schools and being forced to start all over again. The first time he moved abroad, to China, he was around ten years old, and that’s the first and last time he remembers being scared about change: so far, he’d had no problem, but moving to a country where you don’t know the language to communicate with your classmates, where the signs in the street are impossible for you to read... it’s pretty scary, especially for a kid so young. 

It got better with time, though. 

Most of the kids he got to know along the way would always looked at him with pity in their eyes once they learned he’d changed school for the third time in that same school year. But he’s never minded that. See, Jaemin is a very social person, so anywhere he landed, he would find a friend. It didn’t matter that his English, that his mom made him study from a very young age, wasn’t perfect: he would make sure to be understood, one way or another. And maybe because he was used to so much change, to meet so many people, he developed a good sense of how to get them to like him. A charmer, his parents always call him. 

For some it may be sad, but Jaemin has never had a place to call home. The longest he’s stayed at a place in the last few years was when he lived in Bangkok for a whole school year and half of the next one, back when he was thirteen. It felt nice to be stable for a while, especially since he liked his friends there, but once his family had to leave, he didn’t feel sad, but excited to see what was next.

He finally returned to Korea when he got accepted to study Computer Engineering at SNU, and since Bangkok, it’s the longest he’s stayed at one place. Yet his dorm room, all naked white walls and a few pieces of furniture, isn’t precisely a home either. It’s nice to be familiar with his surroundings, to be known as a regular at his favorite coffee shop, to make his way to his classes without getting lost or needing to ask someone for guidance. But after so many years of travelling all over the place, he sometimes feels trapped, being somewhere for so long. He longs for that feeling of getting to know other places, more interesting people, to taste different foods. 

So when he gets the opportunity of studying abroad, it’s not an option for him to turn it down.

He couldn’t care less about the destination (growing up he didn’t have a say on that either, and things always turned out just fine), he just knows he wants to go far away. 

And far away he goes. 

He’s never had a plan, he’s one to let things come his way. And when he’s told at the Office of International Affairs that with his major he’d be a good candidate to study in Germany, he goes with it. 

Out of the places he’s never been to, Germany is one of them. He’s been in Europe on vacation with his family when he was younger: one year he visited Italy, and once for his birthday they made an express trip to Disneyland in Paris. And from what he can remember, everything is different over there. Not only the languages, cultures, but the landscape, the cities. And while that would throw someone off, scare them to spend such a long period of time in such a different land, it just fuels his curiosity even more. 

Maybe he’s pushing himself a little, he thinks once when he tells his friend Donghyuck about the whole thing and he raises his eyebrows, skeptic, but he doubts he’ll regret it. After all, it’s just another experience. One that he’s sure he’ll cherish in the long run.

⨳

It’s late at night, a week prior to finally leaving for Munich, and Jaemin is in bed, his comforter wrapped around him tightly, like he’s a human burrito. He can’t stop watching videos about Germany, what to do, what to visit, what to eat, what can be shocking to foreigners who land there for the first time. 

That’s how he stumbles upon this video about peculiar German words, from simple ones, like glove ( _Handschuh_ , which is literally hand plus shoe – what?!), to more abstract ones ( _Waldeinsamkeit, Treppenwitz…)._ And that’s when he sees it, a word that he never knew existed but that fits him so well.

 _Fernweh_ : _an ache for distant places._

That, he thinks, has to be a sign.

⨳

Jaemin’s first week in Munich is weird. After all, it’s just been a week in a new city, what else was he expecting? 

He arrives there two weeks before his classes start, and as soon as the plane lands, he can already feel the butterflies forming in his stomach. The flight was long, and boring and definitely not comfortable. But it all is worth it the moment he steps out of the airport with his luggage intact. So when he finally sits on the backseat of the taxi to his dorm, he lets out the biggest sigh, in both relief and exhaustion.

He doesn’t know what he was expecting his room to be like, but once he gets there, he doesn’t really care. He just wants a place that’s in good condition, that keeps him warm in the harsh winter, that comforts him when he needs it to. And that’s pretty much what he gets, nothing more, nothing less. Despite having applied for a single room, he realizes that couldn’t be possible when he sees that for every piece of furniture in one side of the room, there’s another identical one in the other: two twin beds, two desks, two closets… 

As a single child, Jaemin is not very fond of sharing such little space. He’s never done it in his life, and he doesn’t really like the idea of having to start now. But there’s little he can do, so he wishes for the best (aka a roommate that can respect boundaries and doesn’t pull weird shit. He’s heard crazy stories going around before).

What he does like is that the room has a kitchenette and a bathroom. He knows of dorms that have shared bathrooms, and if he wasn’t keen on the idea of sharing a room, then… It’s just that there’s a certain comfort about being able to get up in the middle of the night and not have to cross two hallways to go piss.

He spends his first week in Munich exploring the city. He finds his way to university and back, he investigates how public transport works and which places he needs to visit, he walks around looking for cafés and stores… Over the years Jaemin's come to realize that getting to know a city is pretty similar to getting to know a person. It takes time and interest, and it's exciting to find out little hidden gems that you didn't know you needed, but definitely make your life a little better. Just like people, cities have their own personalities. And Jaemin is loving to get to discover Munich's.

Somewhere along this first week, Jaemin's roommate arrives. He's opening the door after a long day strolling around the park (he'd made himself a picnic with some sandwiches and fruit and brought a book and his headphones. The day was too nice to waste, and he can't stay inside for too long without going nuts anyways), and when he notices the lights are on his heart jumps, thinking the room's been broken into. But he's courageous enough to walk inside, so he soon sees the suitcases wide open, the clothes all over the room, books and a laptop on the bed… and he knows. He'd almost forgotten about this, so he's a little bummed out, but excited at the same time to see the kind of person he's going to share space with for the rest of the year. 

He's alone in the room for a while, not really knowing what to do. Wait for the other guy to return and welcome him? Get in the shower? Go to get dinner as he'd planned to do? He's not really an awkward person, but he's never had a roommate, he doesn't know how these things go. 

He decides to sit on his bed and wait. He’ll introduce himself and then maybe he’ll ask if he wants to join him for dinner, so they can start to know each other. He knows plenty of people never interact with their roommates on a personal level, but he wants to get along. Maybe sometimes go out for drinks. 

When the door opens again, a small, slender figure makes its way in. The boy’s wearing all black, comfy clothes, the kind of clothes someone would use to go on a long, long flight. Jaemin can’t quite see his face from where he’s sitting, because he’s wearing his hood up and a cap underneath, and he’s too busy staring down at his phone.

“Hi!” Jaemin says, getting up from his chair and reaching out his hand, waiting for it to be held.

The boy jumps out of his phone-induced daze, realizing Jaemin’s presence for the first time since he opened the door. He looks ready to start a fist fight for a second, staring at Jaemin’s hand warily before reaching out as well to finally shake it.

“Welcome! I’m Jaemin.”

“I’m Renjun,” the boy says, still staring at Jaemin as if deciding whether to trust him. “You scared the shit out of me,” he says, walking further into the room to continue unpacking.

“Yeah, I see that. Sorry.” He stays quiet for a moment while Renjun does his thing, looking at him. He doesn’t seem to be a talker, but the silence is too awkward not to break it. “So, where are you from?”

“China,” Renjun replies, unbothered. It’s kind of a dumb question. He knew that the moment Renjun introduced himself. 

“I’m from Korea,” Jaemin says. 

“I figured,” Renjun replies, still not very enthusiastic.

Jaemin feels even more awkward than before, so he stops his attempts to hold a friendly conversation with Renjun and takes his passiveness as his cue to go get dinner on his own. It’s fine, he thinks. Renjun must be tired and not in the mood for Jaemin’s energy. He has to accept that. So he goes out on his own (after very non-confidently telling Renjun he will be back later. He still isn’t sure if that’s the kind of stuff you tell your roommate about, or if it’s just dumb because no one cares – Renjun, at least, doesn’t seem to). 

It doesn’t matter. Jaemin is sure that they will be going for dinner together soon enough.

⨳

Time flies, and before Jaemin knows it, he’s on his way to his first class of the semester. 

He doesn’t have a very packed schedule in the mornings, since he couldn’t figure out his subjects before coming. He was advised not to enroll in too many classes so they wouldn’t soak up that much of his time, that he could use for his own enjoyment. So he isn’t complaining at all.

Besides, his afternoons are already busy with his compulsory German lessons, at least for the first semester, if he then decides to give up. He doesn’t know if he should be excited about them or not. It would be nice to understand people around him, and to be able to place an order at a restaurant, yes, but… at what cost? 

At least Renjun will be there as well. Since none of them have prior knowledge of the language, they’ll be attending the same lessons. 

They are still not best friends, at all. But Renjun has opened up a tiny bit, now he even asks about Jaemin’s day, and he’s invited him to hang out with his group at night a couple of times. Sometimes Jaemin feels a little left out hanging out with them, because they all know each other and they speak Chinese (and Jaemin’s Chinese was never excellent, but it’s gotten even worse over time). But still, he likes that Renjun even bothers to ask, and he doesn’t want to be rude to decline. And the rest of the guys have always been cool to him, at least when he could understand them.

Jaemin’s the first one to arrive to the building where the classes are held at. He gets lost for a good five minutes, trying to find his classroom, and once he gets there, he sees no familiar faces: just one girl (who’s listening to music on her headphones, so loud that Jaemin can hear it in the background) and one other boy, immersed in the book he’s reading.

He stands there, looking at the sign near the door that indicates the number of the classroom. D-304. He’s found it, right? Or maybe they changed the location last minute, and that’s why no one’s there. 

He shifts the weight of his body from his right leg to his left, starting to get nervous. He doesn’t want to interrupt any of the people waiting there, but he needs to confirm if this is the right place. He can’t be missing the first day of lessons already!

Jaemin looks at the girl, who’s sitting closer to him. She stares back at him under her eyelashes, as if she were saying ‘talk to me and I’ll chop your dick off,’ and her threatening expression doesn’t change a bit even when Jaemin flashes his friendliest smile at her. So he decides to bother the boy instead.

He hesitates at first, because the guy doesn’t seem to notice Jaemin towering over him. Jaemin can’t see his face, because he’s wearing a hat and he’s reading way too close to the book, so he can’t be sure if he is being purposefully ignored. 

He lightly taps on the boy’s shoulder twice, catching his attention immediately. The boy jumps, making a startled noise, and looks up, confused.

“Y-yes?” He asks, now slightly moving away from Jaemin. 

Jaemin, however, doesn’t notice that. The boy’s face, even now that’s all scrunched up, is too breathtaking for him to pay attention to anything else. And for a moment, while he scans all his features (soft eyes, big nose, high cheekbones, _pretty lips…_ ), he forgets that he was about to ask him a question. He shakes his head, forcing himself to come back to earth.

“Sorry, are you here for A1 German?” Jaemin asks after clearing his throat nonchalantly.

“Oh. Oh!” The boy’s confusion vanishes from his face and when his eyes light up in recognition, Jaemin’s breath hitches again. He was indeed way into that book. “Yes, it’s here.” 

Jaemin sighs, relieved that he won’t have to waste his time finding a new location and ultimately end up being late. “Cool, cool,” he responds. “By the way, I’m Jaemin, nice to meet you.” 

Before the boy can introduce himself, Renjun arrives, followed by Yukhei and Kunhang. “There you are!” He almost screams, throwing his hands up in the air, like they’d been looking for Jaemin for ages.

Jaemin looks away from the boy, reluctantly, and greets Renjun and the rest.

“C’mon, let’s go find some good seats,” Renjun urges, signaling towards the classroom.

Jaemin looks back for a second, hoping that the boy waited to introduce himself. But he’s gone back to his book, so with a click of his tongue, Jaemin follows his friends into the classroom.

⨳

Jeno.

The boy’s name is Jeno.

Jaemin doesn’t find out right away, as he was hoping. Nobody checked the attendance out loud, and nobody called for him to participate in class during the whole week. Jaemin planned to ask himself after class, but the guy is sneaky, and he vanishes before Jaemin can notice he’s gone. Perhaps he can teleport, can turn invisible or something, because it just can’t be normal. He disappears every-damn-time. 

It is at a party for exchange students, which he’s been honestly waiting for since he got there. He wants to meet people and give his mind a rest. He’s already at the point in which his face burns and tingles from the alcohol (Yukhei has been handing him drinks all night, and he’s not going to be rude and decline them, is he?). His vision is kinda blurry, his limbs feel like jelly. He promises there was a time in which he could party tirelessly, but it doesn’t matter how hard he tries because today is just not one of those days, and right now all he can think about is how good it will feel when he finally arrives to the dorm and rests his head against his soft, soft pillow.

“Hey!” Someone yells, waking him up from his daze. He looks up, and before him is the pretty, nameless boy from his German lessons. He bites his lower lip, nodding slightly. “You’re the creep from A1 German, Jaemin.”

“Yes, I- wait, creep?!”

The pretty boy giggles, throwing his head back. He must have had a little too much to drink himself as well. “I feel you staring every time we’re in class, my dude. You’re gonna drill holes in the back of my head at this point.”

“What? I don’t stare!” Jaemin replies, outraged. 

In reality, he does. He stares a lot. How could he not? The guy always shows up with the skinniest jeans (once they were ripped just above the knee and Jaemin barely makes it out alive), and always, _always_ serving face. There’s something in his aura that just draws Jaemin to him, and he can’t quite figure out what it is. But at the same time, after looking at him for a few seconds, it just makes sense. 

“Yes, you do!” The other protests, a wide, drunken smile across his lips. “Are you even learning anything? I doubt it.”

“Yes, I _am_ learning!” Jaemin snaps. “Look: _ich hei_ _ße_ _Jaemin_!”

“Okay, Jaemin,” the boy says, pronouncing his name in a mocking way, squinting a little, “and how old are you?”

Jaemin almost gasps. “See, this is not what we’re gonna do. That’s a trick question and you know it! You don’t just ask someone to say the numbers in German while intoxicated!”

After that, the boy stays chatting with Jaemin – teasing him – for a while. As of right now, he can’t really remember the details of the conversation, he just knows it happened. He does remember that when he has to leave, because Kunhang is getting sick and the rest need help getting him home, the boy smiles at him, the lights making his dark eyes sparkle, and says:

“By the way, _ich hei_ _ße Jeno.”_

⨳

Over the course of the next week, Jaemin finds out that the Jeno that he met at the exchange student party is real Jeno’s drunk alter ego. 

Real Jeno is not straightforward, or cheeky, or playful. Real Jeno almost chokes on his own saliva on Monday after class, when Jaemin approaches him to talk to him about the party, furiously blushing and refusing to meet Jaemin’s gaze. Real Jeno is quiet, secretive, and not as easy to talk to as Jaemin initially thought. And yes, he liked his bubbly personality back then, the wide smile, the sparkles in his eyes, but he sure loves how intense he looks when sober. Straight face, almost like he’s bored, deep eyes, his lips slightly curving down on the edges. 

Jeno’s an enigma. But oh, boy, does Jaemin love a challenge.

⨳

It’s the start of Jaemin’s second month in Munich, and the weather is already starting to get rough. The sky is not bright blue anymore, the kind that hurts his eyes, but has turned a muted, grey version of what it used to be. The clouds look menacing, dark, like a dirty cotton pad, and the wind pushes them together. Jaemin guesses it’s part of the charm.

Despite the harshness of the weather, Jaemin still likes his coffee with ice. Over the time he’s been in Munich, he has had the time to go for the perfect cup of coffee, just the way he likes it: bitter and strong, a punch in the face to his whole system. It’s Saturday and he has no plans for the afternoon, so before getting tired of being locked in his room, he decides to grab his stuff and visit his favorite café. He has some studying to do, and what is better than a venti Americano to keep him company while he works on his classes?

It takes him around half an hour to get there, but he has time to spare. What bothers him the most, rather than walking, is how cold his hands and face get as soon as it’s a little bit windy, his knuckles and nose turning red. So entering the café, feeling the warmth of the place embracing him, feels extra nice. 

The place is almost empty: there’s a couple sitting across each other at a table near the back, holding hands over the table, and then another guy, nerdy looking - glasses and all - who’s typing away on his laptop.

Jaemin is already making his way to order when it strikes him.

Is… Is that Jeno?

Honest to god, Jaemin couldn’t have predicted this. If he ever thought that even the slightest possibility of running into Jeno existed, he would have bothered to put on something nicer than sweatpants and a stained shirt. He would have bothered to fix his hair instead of hiding it with a black beanie. 

He plays it cool, even if his heart is still recovering from the surprise. He has to come up with something to approach Jeno, he can’t just go over looking like… _that_ , or else Jeno will think he’s got issues for real. 

Once he has his order, he makes his way towards Jeno’s table, careful not to be noticed at first, acting like just a casual customer.

“So now I can’t even go to my favorite café without running into you?” He says, taking a seat. “Who’s the creep now?”

Jeno looks up from his laptop, squinting at Jaemin, brows knitted. _Nailed it_ , Jaemin thinks. “You,” Jeno deadpans, “the creep is still you. I’m sure you think I didn’t notice the way you walked up to me, but I did. You’re not very slick.”

“Now you’re just saying that,” Jaemin replies with a grin and then takes a sip of his coffee. He takes a quick look around the table, and besides his laptop, Jeno has his German workbook, a stack of paper sheets and a pretty thick binder. He looks busy. “Do I bother you? You look like you have a lot to get done. I can move to another table if you want.”

Jeno sighs, staring at his computer screen, while stretching his back. He looks tired, like he actually doesn’t want to keep going but he’s forcing himself to. “No, it’s fine. I could use the company.”

They both work in silence for the most part. Jaemin has a hard time focusing on his notes at first, and practically spends ten minutes glancing at Jeno from behind his screen. Jeno looks too focused to notice, or at least that’s what Jaemin tries to tell himself, but he probably knows. But Jaemin can’t help but admire his strong features, the shape of his Cupid’s bow, the slope of his nose, the shadow under his eyelashes. 

It turns out that Jeno is majoring in Mechanical Engineering. He doesn’t look like someone interested in that, but at the same time it makes sense. According to Jeno, Jaemin doesn’t look like a Computer Engineering major either, so he guesses they’re even.

He does seem hardworking, though. Obviously, Jaemin doesn’t know Jeno, or his habits. But while he’s had trouble focusing on other than the boy for the first half an hour, and gets up more often than he should to get more coffee, Jeno keeps his eyes glued to the screen, typing and scrolling and reading and taking notes. Even when it looks like he’s done, when he closes his laptop with a loud sigh, stretching his back again, he opens his workbook and a notebook and keeps working. Jaemin wishes he was half as consistent as the boy seems to be.

Jaemin notices it’s getting late, and maybe he shouldn’t do what he’s about to do, maybe he’s been enough of a burden already, but he does anyway.

“Do you wanna grab dinner together?” He asks, trying to sound chill, like he’s not cursing himself for being annoying.

Jeno tilts his head to the right, pursing his lips together for a moment, thinking about it. But then he smiles; it’s a little smile, shy, but also warm and something else Jaemin can’t read just yet. “Yeah, that actually sounds nice.”

They go to a Thai restaurant and take the food back to the dorm. Jeno’s lucky enough to have a room to himself – no shade to Renjun, but Jaemin is green with envy – so they go there. Right off the bat, Jaemin confirms the kind of person Jeno is: the stereotypical good boy with a hidden wild side, good grades, responsible and tidy as long as you don’t take him out to party. And that only makes Jaemin more intrigued. 

They stay quiet for a moment while enjoying their food, but after swallowing his noodles, Jeno looks at Jaemin and says “thank you for today.”

Jaemin blinks twice, perplexed. “Why? You don’t have to thank me.” 

Jeno shrugs, suddenly staring at his Pad Thai like it’s the most interesting thing in the world. “I don’t know, sometimes it gets hard to be here.” He confesses. “Like, I like it, and I’m thankful for the opportunity. But I miss home.” He makes a pause, and Jaemin doesn’t say anything, he just looks at Jeno and waits for him to finish. “So, I don’t know. Just… Being able to talk to someone in Korean makes it better. Don’t you think?”

Jeno is right. Every time Jaemin has lived abroad, he’s had his parents to come to and talk in Korean, so he never really missed it. But this time he did notice something wasn’t there. Maybe this is why he feels more comfortable with Jeno than with other people, why he’s asked him to get dinner only after a few conversations and a quiet afternoon together. He doesn’t miss home per se, he never has, home doesn’t exist for him. But he does miss belonging. 

He doesn’t say that, though. 

“Well, you won’t have to miss it from now on.”

⨳

Jeno starts sitting by Jaemin during their German lessons. They don’t usually speak – Jeno doesn’t look like the kind of person to speak during class, to be fair – but just knowing he’s there makes Jaemin feel some kind of way. 

Jeno kinda sucks at German, which is a surprise to Jaemin, who saw his notes, all neat and color-coded and assumed the guy was a genius. However he’s still better than Yukhei and Renjun, who have extra lessons with this guy named Yangyang that, to be honest, kinda gives Jaemin the chills.

“He looks like he sets things on fire for fun,” he comments to Renjun one night, before turning the lights off, and Renjun throws a pillow at him, telling him to shut up.

Jeno may not be good at German, but he’s good at inserting himself in Jaemin’s life, just like that. It begins sitting together, but it turns into study dates, going to the gym, walks around the city in which Jaemin shows Jeno places he’d never find himself, sporadic partying, or a sudden weekend trip to Ulm, Innsbruck or Prague. 

“You really like him, don’t you?” Asks Renjun after he’s done showing him the pictures Jeno and him took of their trip – even the ones where Jeno is biting his cheek.

Jaemin scoffs, “well, duh, or I wouldn’t hang out with him.”

He knows that’s not what Renjun means, but he doesn’t want to get into it.

It’s complicated. Like, yes, he did try to get close to Jeno because he found him attractive, but now… He’s genuinely happy to have him as a friend. It doesn’t mean that he wouldn’t like to be something else, something more… Of course he does. Jeno’s smart, kind, surprisingly funny even if he doesn’t want to admit it, and most importantly: he makes Jaemin feel comfortable, understood – safe.

The problem is that he doesn’t want to ruin it. 

After so many years of moving around the globe, he’s had many friendships, but none of them are even comparable to his friendship with Jeno. They haven’t known each other for that long, but Jaemin feels that if Jeno disappeared from his life, it would be like having a limb cut off. So he’s not gonna be the one risking to lose Jeno, no way. He’s not gonna ruin it.

But it’s a Sunday, and Jaemin has convinced Jeno to go to the Eisbach to surf, and when Jaemin stares at Jeno, who’s soaking wet, with his neoprene suit tightly wrapped around his body, for a little bit too long, then he realizes… 

Maybe he already has.

⨳

“Do you have anything to do during the break?” Jeno asks out of the blue.

They’re hanging out at his room, like they usually do, and Jaemin is sitting on Jeno’s bed while Jeno fidgets on his phone, resting against his desk. They have just had dinner and they have nothing planned. Jaemin is just staying there because he doesn’t have anything better to do, and maybe also because he can never get enough of being around Jeno.

“No,” he answers, frowning, “why?”

“I just found cheap plane tickets for Amsterdam. Would you…?”

Jaemin doesn’t let him finish, because he doesn’t even have to think about it twice. “Hell yeah, of course I want to go.”

Jeno smiles, but it’s subtle, like he’s holding back. “Good,” he says, “wanna start planning now?”

“Wow, your date ideas are hella fun,” Jaemin jokes, and Jeno raises his fist, as if he’s about to hit him. “Okay, okay, let’s do it,” Jaemin says, raising his arms to protect himself from Jeno’s rage.

⨳

_In a room full of art, I’d still stare at you._

A very cliché quote, that Jaemin would always read and think about how ridiculous it is. He never thought he’d be using it, but he does, when he posts to his Instagram a photo of Jeno admiring Van Gogh’s Sunflowers. He hopes it comes off as ironic, because it kinda is – Jaemin is not the type to caption his posts with shitty, overused quotes. But he also hopes Jeno gets the hidden meaning, that he suddenly realizes that he also has feelings for Jaemin and that they start dating right there and then, at the Van Gogh Museum. 

Jeno doesn’t seem to get it, because once he sees it, he laughs and asks, “what are you, a 13 year-old going through their tumblr phase?”

“What if I was trying to win over your heart?” Jaemin replies, trying to come off as joking once again.

Jeno huffs, “bitch, please. We’re in Amsterdam. Is that all you got?”

That question makes Jaemin think Jeno is challenging him. Daring him to confess his feelings with a grand gesture while they’re on the canal cruise they booked for the second day of their trip. And a part of him doesn’t want to believe that, because it makes it somewhat easier to cope, to forget how he actually feels. If Jeno shows no further interest in him, there’s no reason to keep liking him, right? But the other part just wants to say fuck it and go crazy and confess on that goddammed canal cruise. 

Their trip continues, however. They visit the most famous landmarks, they sign up for all the city guides, they walk until they can’t feel their feet anymore and have to rent bikes – which is only _kinda_ helpful. Jaemin is having a blast, even if he’s exhausted, and eventually he forgets about everything else, only to be reminded when they ask a local to take a picture of them at the Prinsengracht canal and she goes, “you guys make such a beautiful couple,” with a huge, warm smile as she returns Jeno his phone. The catch is, neither of them bother to deny it, and just smile back and say thank you for taking their photos.

And that drives Jaemin insane.

⨳

It’s their last day. Tomorrow morning they’ll take a cab to the airport and say bye to Amsterdam. Jaemin will miss it, he’s sure. The reason why, though, he’s not that sure about. Perhaps it’s because Amsterdam is a pretty place, easy to get lost in, kind of magical. Perhaps it’s because Jeno was there with him. 

They have seen everything on their itinerary, so they don’t really have anything to do other than shopping. Jeno is collecting souvenirs for everyone he knows – his parents, sister, gradma, friends – but Jaemin is not like that. He gets a magnet for his parents and a snow globe for his grandparents and calls it a day. 

“You’re not getting anything else?” Jeno asks, a perplexed look on his face. He’s carrying god knows how many bags with him, and it’s almost funny to Jaemin.

“Nah, it’s fine. My parents don’t really like souvenirs, and they’re overpriced anyways.” He explains. “I’d rather spend it on some good food.”

It’s already afternoon, and they’re ready to head back, but Jeno tells Jaemin he’s lost one of his bags and that he has to go back to replace the gift. Jaemin frowns, because he’d never thought Jeno could just lose his stuff, but he believes it, because he’d probably lose something too if he was carrying the amount of things Jeno is carrying.

“Can I help?” He asks, but Jeno waves his hands.

“No, it’s fine, I’ll just go to the store and get another one. Just… take my stuff to the Airbnb and start getting ready for dinner.” Jaemin hesitates, but Jeno just shoves all his bags into Jaemin’s hands, “I mean it, don’t worry, go.”

So he obeys, and goes back to their room. 

Jeno is gone for something more than an hour, and in that time Jaemin showers and packs most of his stuff. He gets worried, because what if Jeno got lost or something? Will he be able to find his way back? But then the boy arrives, panting, and Jaemin feels like he can breathe again.

They go to dinner to a place near where they’re staying, which they’ve been eyeing since the first day they arrived, but decided to reserve for their last day to end on a sweet note. They sit outside, because the scenery is beautiful: the plants crawling up the buildings, the lights reflecting on the water of the canal. They order lots of food, because they’re both starving, and during dessert Jeno pulls a little bag out of his backpack and plants it in front of Jaemin.

Jaemin frowns. “What’s this?”

“Open it,” Jeno replies, resting his chin on his hand, looking at Jaemin with the sweetest eyes.

Jaemin opens the bag carefully to take out the stuffed teddy bear that’s inside. It looks at Jaemin with big, rounded, glittery eyes, and it’s holding a banner that reads “I ♥ you,” and Jaemin chuckles when he recognizes it as the bear he showed Jeno earlier that morning but decided not to buy because of how expensive it was.

“Read the card,” Jeno urges.

 _In a room full of art, I’d still stare at you too_ , it says, and Jaemin’s heart skips. He looks up at Jeno, who’s still resting his chin on his hand, looking at him, waiting for a response.

It takes Jaemin a little to find the words. “Is this you trying to win over my heart?” He asks, the right side of his mouth curling up slightly.

“Is it working?” Jeno asks back, raising an eyebrow.

“Mmm…” Jaemin hums, looking at the sky, faking to think about it. “I mean, you did good use of the setting, you got me a gift and wrote back a cheesy-ass quote to me, but… You already had it.” 

Jeno’s smile is the widest Jaemin has ever seen, and it makes his eyes almost disappear. God, he’s in love, like a loser.

The way back to their Airbnb is hard because they keep pulling each other into kisses – sometimes they’re quick, sweet, innocent pecks, other times they’re intense, hands roaming over the other’s body, tongues brushing against each other impatiently, and they have to lean into walls looking for balance – but that’s okay with them. After all, have you really visited a city if you haven’t gotten lost in it?

⨳

It turns out, Jaemin wasn’t sick with _Fernweh,_ as he initially thought. He likes travelling, that’s true, but his heart wasn’t longing for faraway places, but seeking for a home, somewhere to feel safe, comfortable, loved and happy. And he never thought he’d have that, but he does now.

After all those years of moving around the globe, Jaemin thought that if home is where the heart is, then he was lost. But meeting Jeno teaches him that home isn’t always a place, and helps him to get found.

**Author's Note:**

> first off, thank you to the mods for organizing this fest <3  
> i just hope it makes my prompter smile... if not then i'm sorry, i did the best that i could with the time that i had  
> love y'all x  
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/cosmoIuda) | [cc](https://curiouscat.me/cosmoIuda)


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